As the days come closer to the death anniversary of my son, the images come up in my mind's eye, so sharp, though 10 years ago.  His last days in the hospital, his last visit home in January 2013, all those images are imprinted in my memory.  So many memories, if I let myself think, come crowding,  He suffered a great deal of pain in the 39 years he lived.  But he also had a lot of fun.  His tongue was his weapon.  But so much of the teasing he did of others was accepted by them because he was equally ready to laugh at any jokes anyone else made about him.  

As he was my eldest, I did expect a lot from him, and we argued a great deal.  But, as he and I grew older, we got to let go the small stuff.  

Ah well, I realise I will never stop missing him.  Hopefully his musical fun loving spirit is in a happy place.