11 February 2019

I've been reading old posts and I realise that the very act of blogging acted as a big catharsis in dealing with my eldest's death.  The fact that I could write out my feelings has certainly helped.  I also realise I have been blogging for quite a while now--more than 10 years now.  The friends I have made through my blog I am grateful for, though I have met only one and that was truly enjoyable meeting.[ A shout out to Onedia]. 
With all the new media around, one just gets lazy to blog I think, since everything else requires only a few words, or no words at all (just emojis)!!  Hopefully I will come up with topics that I want to share and blog about to keep this blog going.

07 February 2019

It's 6 years today, since my eldest son passed away.   Time, as always, flows on, unheeding of joys and sorrows.  And I still miss him and always will naturally.  Each of my children I admire(admired) for different reasons.  My eldest was one who could make most people laugh and could almost always laugh at himself too.  I miss his jokes, his sparring with me and his music, oh his music.  I have his guitar now and I use it frequently.  But my playing is nothing compared to his, his long flexible fingers running over the strings. 
Time has healed the wound, but the scar will always be there.  Missing him.

21 November 2018

"To a grandson"

Found this poem today when searching through old files, and written for my first grandchild, a long while back.

On a clear August day

Do you see the butterflies little one?
Fluttering through flowers and trees.
Look, look at the leaves floating down, little one
Hear them crunch beneath our feet.
Listen to the song of the wind little one
And feel it ruffle your hair.
Let’s call out to the crow little one,
Sitting on a branch just there.
The wonder in your eyes
Awakens wonder in my heart
And I wish you could stay,
And let me share the wonder.

Stay, little one,
Stay here, 
Safe in Grandma’s arms.

04 November 2018

A link to an old post.

With so much division going on because of ones' beliefs, I am linking to this old post, An allegory, I did way back around 10 years back 

01 November 2018

Random thoughts

There seems to be so much hatred flowing around the world--rising, rampant xenophobia.  Social media seems to have taken away politeness and concern for others it seems.  What with being able to find more, and then have more of the more of whatever way you lean, being given to you, till a point comes where you no longer wonder if any of this is right, you go off the edge and shoot people. 
There is also so much bad mouthing on the Internet.  It is as though, because someone is not physically facing the person to whom you are making remarks, you can say whatever you want, in as nasty a way as you want.  Also, there is the point that everyone wants to have opinions which are public and which one wants to be noticed by the maximum number of people--the equivalent of shouting from on top of a hill it seems to me.  So then if I shout, I should not really get upset that someone who was upset at my words, then proceeds to shout at me.  Looks like humanity is slowing losing all the culture that was built over years. 
I must say I am glad that there are also a number of positive things coming from the Internet like the TED lectures for example. 

This is all put very badly.  But the negative feelings have been building up.  I realise that here I am also a part of the problem. 

07 October 2018


My oldest would have turned 45 on the 5th.  Somebody asked me the other day whether the missing of a person who has died, lessens with time.  I said that the missing does not ever go away.  It just gets easier to bear the pain of the missing.
Also my granddaughter turned 9 the day after that and she had a great party, with a bunch of her friends home for a sleepover.  I like that the girls who are her friends range from a year younger to a couple of years older.
Very soon, I will turn 67.  I find now I don't care either way about a great number of things, and am happy where I am.  I am glad  that I work out because I feel taking care of myself is a way to keep me independent as long as possible.  I am happy that I work with children, because that always makes me feel as though I am in touch with the future.  I no longer feel the need to do anything just to show the world/society, that I can do something.  Now, if I do anything, it is because I want to do it. 

27 August 2018

Floods in Kerala

Indian news has been full of the floods in Kerala. It has been horrendous.  I personally was not affected because where I live is not very near to a river.  But all around my town, as well as up and down Kerala, the floods have caused devastation as I am sure many will know.  It has been one of the worst floods in many years, mainly because the state of Kerala was affected from North to South and the water was high and powerful. 
But here I do not want to go over many of the stories already out there.  I just want to admire the youngsters from our state.  The young people have gone out of their way to help in every which way they can, organising food, rescues, helping out at camps, now helping in cleaning up, and youngsters from all walks of life.  Appreciation has been given to our fisher folk, who really have been heroes and to the Armed Forces.  But here I want to express my appreciation for the very many youngsters who went all out to help whoever they could.  Kudos to you young people.  With such people around, the future of our state looks great!