I wrote the last post this afternoon, when I was in a better mood. But the fact is that I seem to feel lousy. I can't seem to stop crying! I've always been the one who is strong for everyone else as my family--extended too--will testify. But today I just don't seem to be able to pull myself up. I can usually use my logic, or use escape tactics--playing card games or singing, or listening to music--but today i seem to have no reserves to delve into. Whatever I do, I still end up crying after a bit. I know it might all be part of missing my mother--after all she lived next door to me for the last six and a half years--but I know that if she was here I wouldn't be leaning on her. The only thing is that I know that if she was I would be able to put myself aside easily and carry on. Maybe it's too many days of being ill, which seems to have drained me totally. Even to write a post like this is soooo unlike me. But I guess I'm writing this post because I so want my internet friends to give me a boost.