December again.

And so it is December of yet another year.  Once, in my early years of blogging, and when I was 10 years younger, I would have redone my blog in Christmas colours pretty soon after the start of December,  though I never put up my tree or decorated the house till the middle of December.
Since none of my children are coming for Christmas this year, I doubt that I will put up the tree.  I might just add a bit of decorations here and there and for sure I will hang up the star!  No house in Kerala is left without a star in December!
So, my husband and I are thinking of going somewhere for Christmas this once instead.  We still haven't planned.  Have to start thinking.

October 5th, 46th birthday.

Yesterday was my eldest's birthday.  He would have been 46.  He was a person who left so many happy memories, in spite of all the bodily trials he had to go through.  He is still so much a part of our lives and the lives of his family and friends.  Mostly we can talk about him without grief, because he was a whole human being, with good and bad and he was one who acknowledged his faults pretty well.  But sometimes, knowing he is not there overwhelms me and I recall an article I read about grief and how it comes at unexpected times and then just takes over you.  I now accept that grief as a part of my life, but I also remember him with happiness.

Back Home

I am now back at home after 7 weeks.  My dogs were ecstatic to have me back.  But I am still missing my son and family and all my feathered and furry friends.  I have written about them over on my 'Beauty around me' blog and will be putting pictures there too.

Bye Chicago

And so it is out last day here.  My grandkids have gone back to school.  So we go back home.  Leave takings are always sad and I can already feel the missing.  I will miss too, the beautiful area around here to walk, the beautiful sunsets and all the wildlife--birds, squirrels and the occasional chipmunk.
It's been a good summer.  Wonder when we will be able to come back.  I guess if my husband and I remain healthy we can think of returning after a year or two.
Goodbye Chicagoland and all my furry friends.

End of summer--almost

Schools here in the Chicago burbs will open week after next and then my husband and I will return home.  We have had lovely weather and have had a relaxing time.  I got to read oh so many books from the library here, (my daughter-in-law and grandkids are regular library visitors) and from my DIL's extensive collection of books.
But of course there have been horrific happenings in other parts of the US, which we have watched on the news and has made us somewhat scared to go to big gatherings. 
Anyway, we helped with looking after our grandkids and now they will go back to school and so will not need someone at home all the time and so we return the day after school reopens. 
I will probably post pictures of nature from close up that I love to watch, in my other blog Beauty around me. 

It is getting really quite crazy how so much of the stats on this blog is coming from Russia.  Should I worry I wonder.  At this rate I may become a conspiracy theorist!!!

Summer

So, I am in the US of A and enjoying the mostly balmy summer.  We have been here almost 3 weeks now.  

What I am particularly enjoying is the bird feeder in my son's garden.  There have been many birds visiting, though a large number of them have been sparrows.  But I have been using various tools online to identify the birds I get to see.  

It is also great to go for a walk around the lovely little lake near where I am staying.  There are the usual wild ducks, Canadian geese and sea gulls.  But there are many birds around.  I have also spied a lone hare, who seems to have a residence quite close to the house where we are staying.  He is usually in and around the same place when I go walking in the evening.

I am enjoying the company of my grandkids too.  I do hope they are enjoying themselves a bit too.

Will post pictures by and by.

Interesting or disturbing fact?

I have been looking at the stats on my blog--provided by Google--which tells you which posts have been seen recently and from where, and consistently, for the past so many months, the country from which the maximum hits for the blog have come is from Russia, with a few from Ukraine.  Now I call that particularly strange, as I know nobody in Russia, not even one blog friend either.  So what do I make of it?  Should I hide my blog or something?  What are they looking for on my blog?  Anyone of you, any ideas/answers?

Today, the 17th of May, was my mother's birthday.  She passed away a few months before her 90th birthday.  She would have been 101 today.  I miss her when I hear music she would sing, or when I find old movies online, which she loved and had told us about, or when I suddenly can't remember all the words of a song she sang.  But I know for sure, she would not have wanted to live till a 101.  She waited till my father passed away, more so as he had senile dementia in the last few years of his life, and she felt she had to be there for him and then was more than ready to go.  She lived only nine and a half months after my father's death and she went in a flash, the way she had wanted to go.  I guess she must have all the music she wants where she's now.

Word pictures

Came across these sentences in an old book of mine.  Each one gave me goose bumps.

1. 'The rain kept tapping with a million nervous fingers.'
2. 'Sheet lightning was dancing on the horizon to a broken tune played by far-off thunder.'
3. 'Dawn was beginning to prowl about the sky and put out the stars.'
4. 'The ancient wilderness dreamed, stretched itself all open to the sun, and seemed to sigh with immeasurable content.'
5. 'The sea listlessly turned over page after page of its endless book upon the sand.'

Which of them appeals to you most?

I have been noticing that blog posts, in these times of all the other social media, don't seem to be getting any comments.  I have been looking over other blogs too.  I guess, if like Instagram and Facebook, there was a 'like' button, maybe folks would use that.  It has become much easier to use like buttons, and or emojis and I am just as guilty.  But sometimes I yearn for a meaty comment.

Short break

We--my husband and I--had gone to Kovalam a couple of weeks back, after quite a long time for us.  I had posted pictures over on my other blog Beauty around me.    Both of us enjoyed Kovalam as much as we always do.  I do love the sea and Kovalam is an old, old favourite.

Trying to beat sugar cravings!

I have--over the course of the last 6 years or so--been trying to get myself to follow a more healthy lifestyle.
Now I have managed to motivate myself enough to do some kind of working out at least 6 days a week.  I have managed to loose some weight, which I thought was an impossible feat after hitting 60.  Best of all, to me, is that I can now climb stairs and sit on a low stool and get up without help.  I cannot still sit on the floor and get up without using my hands and knees.  But it is certainly an improvement.
I have learned to give up added sugar on a daily basis as much as possible.  But I realise, rather sadly, that the craving for sweets has not gone away at all.  Others have said--including my daughter--that after a while of not eating sweets, the desire for something sweet goes away.  Alas, I still like the sweet stuff.  So now I allow myself the luxury of eating a dessert when I am invited out: after all the maker of that dessert would feel sad if the dessert wasn't eaten isn't that so?  And, dark chocolate is not to passed up--it's healthy anyway.
So I keep hoping that with each passing day my cravings for the sweet stuff will go away.

I've been reading old posts and I realise that the very act of blogging acted as a big catharsis in dealing with my eldest's death.  The fact that I could write out my feelings has certainly helped.  I also realise I have been blogging for quite a while now--more than 10 years now.  The friends I have made through my blog I am grateful for, though I have met only one and that was a truly enjoyable meeting.[ A shout out to Onedia].
With all the new media around, one just gets lazy to blog I think, since everything else requires only a few words, or no words at all (just emojis)!!  Hopefully I will come up with topics that I want to share and blog about to keep this blog going.

It's 6 years today, since my eldest son passed away.   Time, as always, flows on, unheeding of joys and sorrows.  And I still miss him and always will naturally.  Each of my children I admire(admired) for different reasons.  My eldest was one who could make most people laugh and could almost always laugh at himself too.  I miss his jokes, his sparring with me and his music, oh his music.  I have his guitar now and I use it frequently.  But my playing is nothing compared to his, his long flexible fingers running over the strings. 
Time has healed the wound, but the scar will always be there.  Missing him.