Now, in the first article, what caught my attention was the sentence “We live in the age of sinnocence where virtues are out and vices are in.” I wondered whether that was true and if it was true, then why all this anti-corruption brouhaha, after all, if vices were in, why would young people want to be anti-corruption, or was this supposed to mean that 'I, me can have all the vices, do what I want, but the people in office should not be like me'? That sentence hurt me somewhere deep and made me wonder whether those of us, who still try to teach young people ethical ways of thinking and living are a dying breed, going the way of the dodos and whether such teaching is now irrelevant.
Regarding the 'Pleasure is Good' article, it was discussing the dynamics of interpersonal relationships today and to quote "More relevant are the modern-day gradations and variations in what was the traditional man-woman coupling. One of the newer entrants to the lexicon of the way people relate to each other is the term “friend with benefits”, which the writer goes on to define as given in the Urban dictionary. Further--
"A relationship website that passes by the name of Mr Ethical Slut has a more empirical explanation. “For the most part, these two people are friends. The big difference between their other friendships is sex. Friends with benefits have the ability to go out on date-like activities. However, real dates are not initiated because there is no romantic interest between the partners. They hang out because they enjoy similar activities and each other’s company. Sex is an optional part of the relationship. If one partner has sex outside of the relationship, it does not end their friendship. Instead, the sex element is taken out of the relationship and they continue to be friends. Sex can also come back into the friendship when both parties are ready for it.” The writer goes on to say that "Friend with benefits, perhaps, is just what the doctor ordered for the fast-paced, demanding, ephemeral lifestyles in Indian cities."
What I would like to know is, if what the writer says (along with what articles in Cosmopolitan or Femina imply) is really what is happening out there; have our young people really changed their mindset so much and do both women and men accept this without negative connotations. I am also intrigued, because, again as per information from various magazines, our age-old system, of arranged marriages, is still thriving. Somehow, I just cannot reconcile the two. Can some youngsters enlighten me on these issues?
I might be wrong here..But am in my 20's and I will tell u what I feel is happening these days.... Arranged marriages are more convenient... There is mostly a background check done (it might still fail), no caste-religion issues, parents are alwaysss on ur side, so u dnt have to take the trouble of convincing them or fighting.. so they give u both the financial as well as emotional support... And mostly the guy will be well-settled. Now this is a very important aspect. Love usually happens with a college mate, colleague or a cousin's friend.. who is almost of the same age.. And our society has set different age brackets for both women and men to get married. So when the girl's parents start pushing her for marriage, her lover would be still juvenile and unemployed! Now, when love is deep, one often overlooks everything else. But I just feel that such deep love is rare these days. There are no lovers these days, just dating couples. They hang out together, enjoy each other's company, will be each other' date for social outings and even have sex. But there is no genuine love. If there was, it wouldn't be so easy to move on to the next person.
ReplyDeleteAs for friends with benefits, i think its normal for "friends" to become more than that... and for boyfriends or girlfriends to become "just friends"... How they manage to do it casually is completely beyond me. But yes, it happens....
I see that I have really grown old Cocktail. Now wish your other friends too would add their thoughts on this topic :-)
ReplyDeleteHmm... I think I will have to join you Sue in being somewhat bemused by the "friends with benefits" concept...
ReplyDeleteYeah,Mrs. T, I just can't get my noggin around that concept!
ReplyDeleteAs a wise someone once told me " I wouldn't sleep with someone who was not a friend, but neither would I sleep with someone just because he was a friend." For me that sums it up.
ReplyDeleteThanks for weighing in Liz!
ReplyDeleteI guess just the thought of arranged marriages is something not usually thought of in my country, but I can understand that it works great in some countries. So, guess it is hard for us to comprehend what is different from the way we were brought up. Sometimes I wonder if there are as many divorces when marriages are arranged as there are in marriages where the couple choose for themself. Knew very few divorces in my generation , but many more in the next generation. Leaves me wondering if they aren`t jumping into marriage too fast without taking time to get to truly know each other. Often wonder if it is just sex they think is love?
ReplyDeleteit is very nice post.
ReplyDelete