I'm sorry that the reason for posting again is not a good one. I heard today about a marriage breaking up and one I did not think would and I felt so heartsick, that I hurt physically.
It made me wonder about the nature of marriage and what do marriages that last and are relatively peaceful have, that makes them go on.
In our days, at least here in India and through the East I think, we felt that marriage was for ever and that one stayed in it come what may. To some extent this attitude was helpful in keeping the marriage craft afloat through turbulences, so that you could get through to more calm waters and better scenery. What do people in the marriage boat have to do to steer their craft safely through shoals, turbulences, whirlpools and without trying to remain stuck at a beautiful scene (because the craft must move on too). To me, one of the most important things would be that there is mutual respect and a gut understanding that both parties in the marriage/relationship are essential for the craft's safe steering (sorry for continuing the analogy, but it seems to fit).
What do you feel--young and not so young?
I feel (based on failure followed by true success) that marriage is hard work and that both people must be truly committed to doing what is necessary to keep the relationship healthy. That means lots of communication both when easy and light and difficult and dark. Love regardless is a good basis but love will not endure without the other.
ReplyDeleteI find marriage so puzzling. I am thankful for mine but I am bewildered as to how it all comes together.
ReplyDeleteI agree with O - communication is the most important thing. I also think it very important that each person must be allowed to be an individual and grow within marriage - where that does not exist it will flounder.
ReplyDeleteI find myself agreeing with O and Mrs T .Closing channels of communication , immaturity and aggressive selfish sttitudes are responsible . Also taking stances and not moving away from them
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