09 October 2007

Yesterday I turned 56. As I made a cake after work and got ready for the family's visit, I thought back to the me I had been around 5 years ago. I saw how deeply depressed I had been.
After my children left home for university and I changed my job for a while, I just slipped deeper & deeper into depression. It was only by rigidly compartmentalizing and tightly controlling my mind that I could make myself get up every morning and keep on living. The fact that I had so much to be thankful for only served to make me feel worse, feel even more worthless. The world was so gray I can't tell you. It's only after I went through a kind of group therapy that change started happening. Yesterday, being my birthday I suppose, I found myself watching each action of mine and thinking how different it was a while back. I am so glad I can see colour in my life again. The thing is, circumstances have hardly changed, only my outlook has.

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Listening to: Paul Desmond - Body and Soul - The Best of the Complete Paul Desmond
via FoxyTunes

9 comments:

  1. Look at how far you've come!! I like that you knew that circumstances wouldn't change, but it's the outlook that had to change. That's what I do. Always look for positives within the negatives. I try to keep myself from sinking into the depths of depression. Occassionally, I admit I do have a pity party, then I snap out of it and move on. Thanks for sharing.

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  2. Shari, I think you are an amazing person!

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  3. Belated happy birthday, hgm.
    I think you're an amazing person. Love reading your posts.

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  4. A very happy birthday to you ! Look at where you are now. I hope you have a wonderful year ahead ith all your loved ones.

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  5. Happy belated birthday!

    May the years ahead be bursting over with happiness.

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  6. Happy Birthday, Suze. Actually I remembered on 7th but forgot on 8th. Have a great year ahead. Think positive and count your blessings....Nice to know that you enjoyed your Delhi visit. I saw some of the pics. The one with the ladies in Kasavu Saree is awesome. Are you in it? Did the Bongs fall for the Kerala dress?
    God Bless

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  7. Happy belated birthday... And I am going to hold on to the things that you said in your entry...and hope that I can apply them to myself in some way. Thank you

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  8. happy belated birthday!

    iam glad that u were able to claw ur way out of the depression ...the climate there wouldnt have helped you much...its just great that you chose to rise instead of wallowing...

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