I should have been posting I for____, whatever but I am taking a break.
Someone in my friends' list, on Facebook, had shared this post and photo by Sheryl Sandberg and that was the first thing I saw this morning. I started reading and I could not continue beyond the first paragraph. I was taken over by a storm of weeping. I had to force myself to read the full post through a thick curtain of tears. I wanted to reach out to her and tell her that I know just how it is. I thought of my daughter-in-law, and how she's doing a pretty good job at 'beating the shit out of option B' although I know she still wants option A pretty much most of the time.
Sheryl Sandberg says she learned compartmentalize is healthy. Oh I endorse that completely. It's the only way to go on living.
I had recently re-read this post of mine about the bank of shelves in my mind. A year or so after I had written that post, the bank of shelves had sort of faded, because most of it had been looked and sorted. But now the huge chest-of-drawers is back, but full of stuff related to my son. Some are tightly shut and I dare not open them, some occasionally come open a bit, I peek in and shut them up again and some I open and look at and sort and sigh maybe, but it is something I can open again and again. And so that is how my mind compartmentalizes.