08 February 2016


Yesterday was my eldest's 3rd death(say it Sue--'death')anniversary.  We had the Mass in church and the prayers near the grave--which is a family vault--and then my husband's siblings and families, who live in this town, came over for breakfast.  I got through the day.  My children left after lunch.  I loaded the dishwasher, cleaned the kitchen and the lump in my chest kept getting bigger.  But after all that, my husband just started saying something about the day and the dam burst.  It took a good part of 15 to 20 minutes before I was all cried out.
Life is certainly going on and I am doing new things some of which are very interesting and absorbing.  But I realise the missing never goes away and I think of so many other parents who have gone through what I have and carry on with their lives as though nothing is the matter, but I'm sure hiding this big pain inside.
Well today is another day.