31 March 2016

My Elsa died this morning.
My husband and I were away from Saturday morning to Monday noon.  When we got back, my girl seemed a bit tired and was limping.  I looked at all her feet in turn and could find nothing.  The tiredness I put down to the heat.  The next day she was walking better but was still tired.  Yesterday, she did not eat anything the whole day.  By night her breathing had got heavier and she was very tired.  As the night wore on, her breathing became more and more laboured.  But as we have no emergency veterinary services, I had to wait for the morning to take her to the hospital.
At 5 am she came outside with me and just lay down near my feet.  I could take her only by 8am.  We put her into the vehicle but she died way before we reached the hospital.
I will miss her so much.  She played a big part in helping me cope with my eldest's passing away.  She was only 6.
Here is a video of her taken maybe a year or so back
video

08 February 2016

Yesterday

Yesterday was my eldest's 3rd death(say it Sue--'death')anniversary.  We had the Mass in church and the prayers near the grave--which is a family vault--and then my husband's siblings and families, who live in this town, came over for breakfast.  I got through the day.  My children left after lunch.  I loaded the dishwasher, cleaned the kitchen and the lump in my chest kept getting bigger.  But after all that, my husband just started saying something about the day and the dam burst.  It took a good part of 15 to 20 minutes before I was all cried out.
Life is certainly going on and I am doing new things some of which are very interesting and absorbing.  But I realise the missing never goes away and I think of so many other parents who have gone through what I have and carry on with their lives as though nothing is the matter, but I'm sure hiding this big pain inside.
Well today is another day.

31 January 2016

'The day I rode a cop car' --link

I thought I would post a link to my memories blog about this post, which wasn't really a memory from way back but happenned to me when I was in the US in 2009.  The whole incident was hilarious.