24 June 2010

It's pretty difficult being a liberal in a small town!

 Yesterday there was a debate organized at the local YWCA, the topic being cohabitation/pre-marital sex, in the light of a verdict which had been given by the Supreme Court in the quashing of a large number of cases against the actress Kushboo.  [Here is the front page of the Hindu paper after the verdict.]
There were 2 speakers each, for and against 'cohabitation', one a lawyer and one a lay person.  I was the non-lawyer speaker in defence of the Supreme Court verdict and co-habitation.  I can tell you, I was really in a funk at the thought of doing that.  I know that my non-Asian blog friends would probably not understand that at all!! Anyway, at the start of the debate I was surprised to hear the moderator say that she had been specifically asked to clarify that what the speakers say, should not be taken to be their actual opinions.  Now it's true I had worried, but I didn't think it necessary to make such a qualification.  Obviously, the young advocate who was in my team, had asked for that clarification to be made.

Finally, after the debate was over, nobody in the small audience even wanted to vote.  The moderator finally got them to vote by asking everyone to close their eyes and then raise their hands for the side they thought had won.  As you can imagine the other side won.  Later somebody came and congratulated me at having been able to defend the idea at all.  I am sorry to say *in a blue funk* that I did not see fit to disabuse  her on that point.  There was not one woman present, who was even willing to say that it should be left to the discretion of the people getting into such a relationship.  I realised, a little sadly, that there was not a single person I knew, of my age certainly, to whom I would even be able to say what I really thought on the matter--there is just no place for even a discussion on such a topic. I realised too, that I was probably one of the very few women they could get to even ask to defend the topic (something to be proud of ?).

As to my view--I don't know if I would have opted for a live-in relationship in my time, but I very certainly do not condemn somebody who chooses such a relationship, if there is commitment on both sides.  Besides, I truly feel it is none of my @#*...business anyway.  Whatever, here's to being open-minded.

06 June 2010

Sometimes distractions are the only way to go when there are problems you cannot solve--problems that are other people's maybe, but that upset you nevertheless.