26 April 2009

On Children
Kahlil Gibran
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
My friend over at Eve's Lungs tagged me with this interesting tag on motherhood which was started by by HBM and David. It's part of Global Voices Online. The tag requires that I state 5 things that I love about being a mother. The tag also requires that one tag other mothers, of whom at least one person, should be from another country. After reading HBM's and David's posts, I went searching for posts by women from African countries. I found a couple of interesting ones, but haven't had the time to pursue the matter further. I certainly intend to add a few to my blog roll and then maybe tag them later.
About being a mother, Kahlil Gibran's 'On Children' has been my guiding principle (most of the time). "You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts" has been a thought which has helped me so often as a mother. Whenever, especially in my children's younger years, I wanted that they should think in a certain way and they didn't, this quote of Gibran's has been a help and a prod to keep loving them.
So to list 5 things I love about being a mother:
1. I loved when each child became articulate, so that then I could get an idea of their view of the world.
2. I loved/love the fact that each of my 3 children (2 sons and a daughter) have such distinct personalities and world views but are such good friends, loving and respecting each other.
3. I love being the mother of a daughter. She is one of my best friends and I am so proud of her personality.
4. My sons have taught me a lot, especially patience [:-)] I love it when they include me in the things they may be doing at the moment. But the best was when one day the two of them, (when they had just about become adults) sat me down and told me "You don't need to feel responsible for our actions anymore. What we are now has been shaped not just by you, but also the world around us. You taught us whatever you could and that is a part of us. But now, we're adults and responsible for our actions". I am very proud of them both and the kind of people they are now.
5. And then I loved the physical love expressions of motherhood--the weight of a contented baby on my shoulder, the passing touch of a child, children leaning into you while listening intently to a story, the little cuddles just because, the sudden hugs, the breaking out of a beautiful smile. Now as adults, there are the occasional hugs, the weight of an arm draped casually on my shoulder, the fact that when I hug my boys, I have a long way to look up to their face but they accept my hugs [:-)]
Now to tag some mums :- I tag Rohini over at Mama Says So and Dot of Dot's Thoughts
and Esbee at Life in Forsyth and Shari at Literally Blind-Sided. I would love my own daughter to take up the tag too, but wonder if she has the time!

11 comments:

Hip Grandma said...

My sons have taught me a lot, especially patience [:-)]

How true.My grandson is now my daughter's tutor.When I was young my mother said that I was more patient than her.I feel like saying the same to my daughter who is managing two hyperactive kids.Kudos to motherhood -one keeps learning all her life.Well handled tag.

eve's lungs said...

Thanks for taking up the tag Susan :) I like that bit of patience - Srin has it too -

Onedia Hayes Sylvest said...

Lovely, lovely post as always. Your children are as special as are you.

Esbee said...

It's nearly midnight, but I promise I'll do this tomorrow.

lawyeramma said...

Ma, this was a beatiful post. And I was cursing myself for having read it sitting in office cos it made me tear up!! hugs.

Usha said...

Loved this especially points 4 and 5.
It is an inexpressible joy holding your child close to you and feeling so secure and fulfilled. I almost relived it while reading those lines.

Jane Turley said...

Number one struck a cord with me - not just seeing their view of the world but the sheer sense of relief when they learn to talk and can tell you what's wrong with them!

Joy said...

:) You said it so well.

Shari said...

SO many things about being a mom is special. I'll try to do a post of it next week. If not, remind me. :)

Hope all is well.

Dotm said...

Good post. Forgive me for adding your name as I didn`t realize you had already been tagged. I will replace your name.
Hugs, Dot

Dotm said...

Hi Hip Grandma, Just letting you know that I finally did the Tag. Not as good as your write up. I enjoyed reading yours.
Hugs, Dot