05 April 2006

joys & sorrows

I think one of the hardest things for me in being a mother, is seeing one’s child in pain and knowing there is nothing you can do to take the pain away. This is more so when the child is an adult, because then there is the fact of invading their personal space. It takes all my control not to interfere, to be involved without being pushy. I have gone through this a lot because my eldest son has suffered a lot in his 32 years of life. He had an intra-spinal tumour, with all its attendant problems and pain, made worse by the fact that it was detected only by the time he was 16. He was operated upon at that time in London.

He recovered from all that and went on to become a lawyer who enjoys his work. Also, he got married 3 years back to a lovely girl, also a lawyer like him.

But then recently he underwent another surgery for correcting his scoliosis, (developed because of the earlier tumour) which was extremely painful. My daughter-in-law coped somehow, both of them working from his hospital room whenever possible. It was then, seeing him in so much pain that it made me feel even more helpless, probably more so because I knew that now I was only on the periphery of his life. All I could do was pray and to be there if they needed us. Anyway, I know I respect my son tremendously, for the way he deals with his pain and his life and I am truly grateful to my daughter-in-law for the loving, patient way she copes. To any of you out there in a similar situation, my prayers are with you.

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