27 February 2006

a new day

After so many years of reticence and not enough writing, it's very difficult to write down random thoughts. I find that suddenly I am 54, overwieght, stiff in the joints and feeling utterly useless! While my children were growing up I was an active involved mother. Now that they are all getting on with their own lives I don't now what to do. Being a mother was a job I thoroughly enjoyed. But I am not really used to thinking about myself. So now I feel totally directionless. At the same time I know I am extremely grateful to the Supreme Being for a wonderful family and for all that I have. Its just that i don't seem to have enough energy and enthusiasm to even look for what I want. I hope by maintaining this blog I'll be able to drum up enough enthusiasm to live more fully.

26 February 2006

first time

I am a mom and grand mom and maybe depressed. Figured that maybe blogging might help me feel better about myself and maybe meet other women online like myself. I have lived in the same small town for the last 32 years. Before that I was very much a city girl. I have tried adjusting to this place ever since then, but wonder if I have been a failure. The empty-nest feeling hit hard. Somehow, that now my children are all gone and I've become a grandmom, there seems to be no purpose to my life.