Yesterday I turned 56. As I made a cake after work and got ready for the family's visit, I thought back to the me I had been around 5 years ago. I saw how deeply depressed I had been.
After my children left home for university and I changed my job for a while, I just slipped deeper & deeper into depression. It was only by rigidly compartmentalizing and tightly controlling my mind that I could make myself get up every morning and keep on living. The fact that I had so much to be thankful for only served to make me feel worse, feel even more worthless. The world was so gray I can't tell you. It's only after I went through a kind of group therapy that change started happening. Yesterday, being my birthday I suppose, I found myself watching each action of mine and thinking how different it was a while back. I am so glad I can see colour in my life again. The thing is, circumstances have hardly changed, only my outlook has.
Listening to: Paul Desmond - Body and Soul - The Best of the Complete Paul Desmond